This past weekend, I was hanging out in a cabin in the woods, with my cousin and all of the women closest to her. She had her bachelorette party and it was a blast. We did a little shopping, but mainly stayed in and enjoyed each other’s company. These types of weekends tend to be my favorite. Bonding with friends you haven’t seen in ages and progressing the relationships with those closest to you is such an excellent way to spend a weekend. We kept it low key, low budget, and extra fun. I’m so glad my cousin was able to find a way to celebrate her marriage that was much more her style! And it’s equally as nice that she has friends that love to celebrate in the same way she does. I know she felt the pressure to do a Vegas trip and go all out, but that’s just not her.
I’ll be honest, I was nervous about this trip as it was approaching. Most of her friends are a bit older, engaged or married, and don’t understand why I live in the city. Typically in these situations I get grilled about why I live where I live, why I’m single, if I’m ever getting married. . . etc, etc. These questions get annoying, repetitive, and occasionally, just plain ignorant. I am constantly on the defensive explaining my own (and frankly none of their business) life choices, and usually am exhausted. I don’t know what was different about this weekend, but I got none of the Spanish Inquisition and all of the love. It was such a lovely weekend full of powerful female energy and a lot of love surrounding my cousin, our family, and her future family. I came back into the city feeling so relaxed and renewed; and I couldn’t be happier about that!
I often have a lot of anxiety going home to see family or family friends just because of the way I feel they judge me and my life. This trip kind of put a “reset” on all of that; and also made me realize that maybe I am part of problem. Maybe I am always automatically on the defensive; and if I just slowed down and listened, I would realize that my family is just trying to get to know me the best way they know how. They have good intentions, just not always the best execution.
Growing up I saw my giant family all of the time. All of my extended family lives in the same city, so I saw them at least once a month growing up. This was so amazing and unfortunately a little bit of rarity for most people! Because of this I have strong family values and feel like I have this giant safety net waiting for me if I ever need it. However, when I went off to college (I was one of the first ones in the family to go out of state), things shifted just a little. Chicago pushed me to come out of my shell, be more assertive, and overall be more comfortable in who I am as a person. My family wasn’t exactly used to this, so often when I would come home it was “look at this chick and her big city attitude”. This frustrated me. It didn’t seem like my family realized that this was just me evolving into who I am today. They judged me, and my opinions, because of the place I chose to live. Now that I am a bit older and have been in Chicago for quite a few years, I am realizing that my family is just trying to relate to me in the ways they know how. Don’t get me wrong, they are definitely still judge-y and very opinionated, but I am learning to love them just the way they are. I know they are doing the same for me.
If you are blessed enough to have your family close, take advantage and cherish the time you have together! If you are far from your family, be sure to do what you can to stay in touch. Positive family relationships are truly amazing and can be such a comfort if other parts of life aren’t feeling quite right. Whom ever you consider to be your family unit- hold them close and tell them how you feel. I’m sure you mean as much to them as they do to you!
Have an amazing week 🙂